File it under... "Really?"

I could understand the abbreviation if it were an issue of space, but "Black Olives" clearly debunks that theory. I'll give this box-maker the benefit of the doubt and say maybe it's just a really tiny "i":

File it under... "Talent" (2)

You know when really hot people try to make ugly faces? You know, like for a joke picture or to make someone laugh? And they succeed, but only sorta...like, their inherent hotness still comes through? They can try all they want, but they're still attractive. Imagine Scarlett Johansson trying to make an ugly face. All you can really do is look at her and go, "Stop it. You're still Scarlett Jo-f*cking-hansson. No one's buying it."

Well, my point...I mean, all I'm saying is...I don't think I'm an unattractive person...but I don't have to try very hard to make some really ugly faces. Like, really ugly.

File it under... "Talent"

My gaydar, at this point, is so attuned that it now extends to fictional characters.

File it under... "Well, that's just great."

It's kind of a bummer when you realize you're fatter than someone who's famous for being a "funny fat guy". Now I have this irrational need to be funnier than Seth Rogen.

File it under... "OMG! I just remembered!"

When I was a kid... let's say, 4, 5...maybe 6, I used to be scared to go to the bathroom. When I had to pee, I'd stand, eyeing the door fearfully, probably sweating profusely, imagining a horrific Jaws/Freddy/Vampire hybrid monster waiting just outside for me. To make myself feel better, I'd say under my breath, over and over, "Care Bears. Care Bears. Care Bears. Care Bears. Care Bears."

Thank you, Care Bears, for giving me the courage to urinate.